Please educate yourself about the well documented feeling of gender euphoria among trans people. It is NOT about appearance….it’s about experience. It’s about setting aside the painful performances of the gender that was coercively applied to me before I was allowed to weigh-in on the matter. It’s the experience of relaxing the barriers around myself , and Just. Being. Me. It’s the pleasure of feeling free to do all the things that girls are allowed to do without the oppressive voice the patriarchy telling me that I’m not allowed to do them: of getting to chose the kind of femininity that most closely aligns with the person I am inside and have always been. It’s about using the social constructs of femininity to probe and explore my sense of my own gender with a kind of intentionality that is NECESSARY after begin forced into the wrong role for all my life.
But don’t just take one trans person’s word for it. Listen to all of the voices of your human siblings, begging you to acknowledge us as the people we say we are. Who only want to live in the world with you without feeling the weight of oppressive gender, but who celebrate the myriad expressions of femininity possible…even those you might want to police or denigrate because you’ve been hurt by them in the past.
Here are some resources.