Thank you for sharing this! Much of what you write here resonates with the experience I had growing up as an (unknowingly) neurodivergent trans girl in the 1980s, where the entire world was gaslighting me into thinking that I was a boy. I experienced a similar pain when I'd express my feelings of discomfort with being seen as a boy, and everyone around me would just be shocked and confused by the notion that I could be anything else. And I couldn't point to any evidence that I wasn't a boy, and so eventually I just got really good at pretending to be one. It fit well with my other act: pretending to be neurotypical to fit in.